November 10, 2009Tuesday’s Retro Guest – Vintage Menus OR On The Road With Mrs. Mel Ancholy And Offspring (Mr. Mel Ancholy Said He Had To Work. Coward.)
Once again, thank you to Jan for a hilarious, inventive and amazing post! This is the greatest!
It’s 1959 and I’m taking the girls, Sara, Ruth and Alex on a road trip to California and yes, I know I’m insane, but I did promise them a visit to Disneyland. Afterward, I’ll need a visit to the Funny Farm.
Anyway, the tank is full, I’ve got the atlas and my nerve pills, so, get into the car, hooligans, sit down and buckle up as we travel down the MCM Menu Highway!
First stop is Walgreen’s Drug Store in Chicago, Illinois. It’s too late for breakfast, but a sandwich and drink (did I say drink) sound good.
Our next destination is San Diego, California, so you better use the powder room before we leave because I’m NOT stopping again until we get there!
Two hours later, at the speed of sound, we arrive at Aunt Emma’s Pancakes where their menu is shaped like, what else? A pancake! Ruthie! Stop crying! I can’t help it if they don’t have any Spam!
After downing some of pancakes and paying for damages that occurred when the girls started a food fight, I’ve pointed (yes, pointed) the car north to Los Angeles. I hope I can survive the 100 plus miles as Alex has that mischievous look in her eyes, like maybe she’ll insist that we play Peek-A-Boo as she covers my eyes while I’m driving. Sigh, no wonder I don’t take them anywhere!
At Disneyland, I attempted to bribe the girls to mind by buying them some ice cream at the Carnation Ice Cream shop.
We’ve been asked never to return to Disneyland as the girls thought it would be great fun to stick a vanilla ice cream cone on Mickey’s nose. Why, why me Lord?
I’m at the end of my rope. My nerves are frayed, my voice is hoarse from hollering and I think I’m deaf in my right ear from Sara constantly yelling into it, “Mom! Ruthie’s hitting me! Mom! Alex just pulled the head off of my doll! Mom! Mom!” Boy, do I need a drink, but first a stop at the zoo. I’m certain I can rent an empty cage for my wild animals. Ha! Take that, devil children!
Aaah! The Luau in Beverly Hills! Yeah, I could easily languish under a palm tree and sip several rum infused tropical concoctions until I pass out cold. Waiter! One of everything on the menu!
(Hiccup) Now, where did I put those kids?