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February 14, 2011

A Pulp Fiction Valentine’s Day

By RetroRuth

Okay, we are up to our eyeballs in love-stuff today. Which is great for everyone who wants to snuggle up and give their cuddle-bug eskimo kisses, but a person can only take so much.  I decided to cut through the sticky treacle in the blogosphere with some great 1950’s torrid paperback storylines featuring hoods, murder and a frigid woman!

And some awesome illustrations!

Ex-Con001

“He was hounded by hoods and a corrupt woman.”

Ex-Con002

“And in his violent search through the flea-bitten jungle of hoods and vice dolls he met the beautiful nymphomaniac who…”

Okay, wait, wait, wait. That’s just far enough, buddy. Whew.

Ex-Con003

“Starkly real?”  Really? How real can a book be that talks about “yielding to naked savagery?” Who relates to that?

“So Sid, how did you like that book I lent ya’?”

“Wooo, Bill! That one was a BLAST. The best part was how REAL it was.  I mean, the flea-bitten hoods, the flea-bitten vice dolls, the flea-bitten nymphomaniacs. It was like I was reading about my own LIFE.”

“I know what you mean, Sid.  The brutal killings, the naked savagery.  It’s like the author knows me.”

“So true, so true.  Here let me give this back to you…oops, little Sid wrote all over the cover the morning during breakfast. Do you have an eraser I can borrow to take care of this?”

“Sure, just let me check my…nope. Not with me. Let’s go ask the secretary.”

Yeah.  Just like the book! 

Buy Ex-Con in my shop.

March Hare Murders001

The murderer shot twice, which is waaaay more than once.

March Hare Murders003

All kidding aside, this book is actually still in print today.   E.X. Ferrars, or Elizabeth Ferrars, was a highly popular and prolific British crime writer, and her style of writing has been compared to Agatha Christie.

March Hare Murders002

Plus, it has “Gertrude” the Kangaroo. Who can argue with Gertrude?

Buy The March Hare Murders in my shop!

My Sister My Bride001

“The story of a healthy man…and a frigid woman.”

My Sister My Bride002

“Every man must read this frank solution to a common problem.”

Okay, so why does just every man have to read it? What about the women? Maybe she won’t touch you because you are reading books like these. How’s that for a frank solution, buddy?

And how’s that for a Valentine’s Day post????

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4 Responses to A Pulp Fiction Valentine’s Day

  1. sablemable Reply

    February 14, 2011 at 10:59 am

    LOL, I’m laughing so hard at these “torrid” book titles!

    Happy V-Day!!!!!

  2. Eartha Kitsch Reply

    February 14, 2011 at 1:39 pm

    Haaaa! You’re hilarious! And my gosh, who doesn’t love a “constructive” love story. Those are the best!

    You just can’t beat a good bit of pulp fiction. The covers especially. Have a great Valentine’s Day!

  3. Sara in AZ Reply

    February 14, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    These are hilarious Ruth!!!

    “He had to yield to her naked savagery……..” Hmmmmmm, I’m sure he was devastated! 🙂

    Happy Valentine’s Day Y’all!!!!

  4. NancyC Reply

    February 14, 2011 at 10:16 pm

    These are the best! Hilarious is the right word. Happy V Day!

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