July 26, 2011This IS your Granny’s crafting! with Betty Crafter – Scary Clown Edition
By Betty Crafter
I’m so excited to be here at No Pattern Required! I love crafting, especially vintage crafts, so I jumped at the opportunity to unleash my vintage crafting enthusiasm on all the lovely readers here at No Pattern Required. There’s just something about vintage crafts. So sweet and wholesome, right? With attention to quality details just not seen today. They just don’t make things like they used to…
Sweet Mother! What is that crime against crafting? Most of you probably remember seeing this hideous, sad clown being posted recently. Leave it to Betty to volunteer to bring this thing into the world! I was really interested to see how it would look in living color so I stayed true to the color palette in the pattern, even though it hurt me even to purchase the supplies. White, yellow, purple, and green acrylic yarn? Blech. But all in the name of vintage crafting, right? So I went ahead and dove in. It was a strange feeling for me, spending so many hours on something I knew was going to be ugly as sin. But I persevered! All for the big payoff:
Oh god. It’s worse in color, isn’t it? There was something about the black and white picture in the pattern. Although revolting, something about the poor clown’s expression and placement of his bizarre penguin arms and the tilt of his floppy head elicited some sympathy. Like he was apologizing for his grotesqueness. But my clown? In the flesh? He just looks like he needs some psychotropic meds.
He’s got an untrustworthy gleam to his felt eye. Like he’s plotting against me. Maybe he’ll look better with a little more distracting scenery?
Uh, no. Still looks like he’s laughing manically on the inside, and like he would be rubbing his felt palms together in anticipation of his evil plans (if he could reach them around his odd bowling pin shaped body.) I have come to believe this clown is dangerous to have in the house, which is too bad because he now exists, because of me. I can’t believe I own this thing. Great.
Now I need to cleanse my crafting palette with some high quality yarn and a pattern that is actually cute.
Got any ridiculous vintage patterns you want Betty to suffer through bringing life to? Send em in! My pain is your comedic gain…