Some fun vintage advertising today so we can all learn a little bit about mid-century products!

The first is this cute ad for a Boss Kerosene Stove. 

And you know you need to cover up your un-shined shoes!!!

Shine those shoes! Shine them!

Thank god for Friday!  Today we are jumping into Science, Health, Safety 2, the awesome book I gave away last week to Wendy.  Today it has a valuable lesson for us, which some of us haven’t even learned as adults.

Stay home when you are sick!

As you can tell, the illustrations in this textbook are a little more realistic than Science, Health, Safety 1, which is okay because most of the people have eyes and it is still just as cute.  The lessons are a bit more sophisticated, and there are a lot more words so get ready to read! (Wendy, you will soon be able to follow along with these lessons, as your copy of this book is currently speeding its way towards you. )

Is it just me, or is that the biggest salt shaker in the world on the counter? Maybe it is for something else like…sugar…or something.

I don’t know about you guys, but I never once pretended that I was WELL in order to actually go to school.  I was too busy pretending I was sick so I didn’t have to go. Even if fun stuff was going on.

Also, at first I thought this chapter was titled “What Will Jesus Do?” And I even got sleep last night. (Thanks, Tom for feeding the kittens!)

Say it with me, guys, “You will not feel happy if you go to school when you are sick.”

And that kid in the lower left corner looks like he has mumps. Ouch.

I know I would be happy to stay home sick in that room!  That ruffled lampshade is already making me feel better, and I am not even sick.

On a side topic, gargling with saltwater? Disgusting.

That kid is playing with metal fillings and a magnet?  What kind of toy is that?

Also, pink striped sheets =Awesome.

Can you guess which one is me?  Yep, that’s right.  The one at the bottom of the page in a pink dress eating a bar of chocolate and looking bored.  And I am pretty sure that is Tom struggling out of his jacket in the center of the page.  Hmmm…maybe I should make him read this book…

Just stay home, people! You will not feel happy if you go to work when you are sick!

Hey everyone! I was out thrifting the other day when I picked up a copy of the cute vintage textbook, Macmillan Science Life 2.  Now, most of you have been laughing along with the lessons I have been featuring out of Health, Science, Life 1, so I thought this fun book would be a great giveaway!

And this serves two purposes.  One, I get to treat a lucky reader to a fun book.  Two, we get to have a belated celebration of my one year blogiversary! That’s right, I have been typing away for over a year now, and so far people are still hanging around reading it.  Thanks, guys.  I love all the friends I have made online and all the great support you guys give.

Ok, to make this giveaway easy on everyone, it will be real simple.  Leave a comment, and you will be entered in the giveaway.  If you want to be entered a second time, blog about the giveaway or put it on Facebook or Twitter. Then come back and leave another comment about it with a link or tell us where to find it, and you will be entered again!  The max number of entries per person is three. Next Thursday, March 11th at midnight I will use Random.org to pick a winner. Pretty simple, huh?

Oh, and here is a sneak peek of the book you are trying to win:

I love this book!  It is almost brand new, I go so excited when I found it.  It has excellent illustrations, too, and most of the people even have eyes.  What a bargain!

So, have fun guys, and the winner will be announced next Friday, March 12th!  Good Luck! 

“Oh my God, have you heard about the giveaway at No Pattern Required?”

“A giveaway, shut up! I love that blog!”

“No, you shut up!”

“You!”

“All you kids shut up! I’ve got to get online and enter!”

Hi there, Kids! Today for the Mid-Century Lesson we have another important set of tips from Science Health Safety, the great 1957 children’s textbook that brought us Get Ready For School By Eating Your Prunes.  Today we have another good lesson from them.  Just as you have to force down some prunes everyday, you have to tolerate your dumb siblings everyday, too.

Umm…blind? Or maybe those are just really dark sunglasses….

Okay.  So the choices are: fly at Bobby in a girly rage and get beaned by the baseball, jump up and down on a shoebox, squeal to mom or have the blind kid ride a bike.

I know what I would do!  Squeal. That’s right. Mooooom….Dad and Bobby won’t let me playyyyyyyyy!

You know, I am kind of getting sick of the subservient poses of little girls in this book.  What is that supposed to mean?  Hey Jean, get used to it, because your little brother will always be more important to you because he is a boy? What the heck?

Remember Jean…tolerance.  Just put up with them until you’re 17, then you can marry Timmy next door and your life will be much better.

Seriously, though, I think Jean and I would both feel better if we could switch wardrobes.  I don’t think I could be sad if I had such fabulous turquoise socks on.

While out shopping for Tom’s Valentine’s present the other day, I came across an amazing find at my local Salvation Army.  Now, I am not sure how many of you know this, but Tom is a chemist, which is why we live in Michigan (thanks, Dow!). So, when I came across a 1958 chemistry textbook called Chemistry, Man’s Servant, I was pretty excited.  Especially because said textbook had some awesome illustrations in it.  I gave Tom the book for Valentine’s Day, but then promptly stole it back to start scanning said awesome illustrations. Illustrations that I am planning on making into some fun t-shirt designs. But more on that later.

What does all this have to do with a Mid-Century Lesson?  Well, this cute book has tons of “practical” photos in it showing chemistry applied to everday life in 1958.  Want to see how they made soap flakes?  Ever want to see a mayonaise machine?  I know I do!

What kid sits that still when you pour iodine on them??? I have only had it done once, (thanks Grandma), but that stuff hurts. Buuuut it was still  an important part of a 1950′s home.

See??  And you didn’t think vintage science would be fun!

Linde Air still exsists today as Praxair.

Ewww….soap scum.

Is that a metal edge around that cutting board? Cute!

I mean…carbon dioxide is important stuff, people!

Sing it with me: Hot dogs! Armour hot dogs! What kinds of kids eat Armour hot dogs?

Sweet. I want to go to The Lobster!

I love this picture.

More soap!

Yes, drinking water is very important….

…but so is bleached cloth.

Hi cloth machine!  I would like 6 yards of tiki fabric and 4 yards of something kinda atomic to go, please.

Go homogenizer!

Wow.  That is…strangely fascinating. Look at it.  Reminds me of a soft serve machine.

Also known as soda pop.

Okay. Stop the jokes, hold everything. Stop, stop, stop.

Why don’t I have this Corning Blue Flameware? Why? I want them! Why did I just discover their existence now? 

Does anyone have some of these?  If you do I am dying of jealousy.

Ok, the jokes can continue now.

Is that corn in that coffee pot??

Welcome to this week’s lesson!  This cute lesson comes from Science, Health, Safety a grammer school textbook that was published in 1957, and meant to teach first graders through common sense.  I found it at our local Goodwill, and fell in love with the illustrations.

I thought this would be a good lesson for those of you who have trouble getting out of bed on time for work, and keep forgetting to do things like washing or eating your prunes.

See, aren’t the illustrations the cutest?

Poor kid, he’s got pink polka-dotted curtains!  Don’t worry little Bobby, I’ll take those.  And you can wrap up your clock in them. And that lamp. Hand it over.

Those are some socks, let me tell ya.

Ta-da!  Wait…I think he forgot to put his eyes in…

Oh my god, the whole family forgot their eyes!  And I don’t even think that girl is conscious!

Or maybe she is worshipping the box of Rice cereal.

Just like Richard Scarry books!

Yeah, hi – Book?  I’ll take some bacon, jelly, and some of those rolls. And throw in a cocoa. And you better hurry up, cause I’m late for school.

Wait…what do you mean this isn’t a menu?

Awww…look. They are all full of prunes and playing in front of the most adorable Mid-Century school. Hooray for happy endings!

Now if only that kid could get his hands on some eyes….

You’ve always wanted to know about Flag Etiquette.  Admit it.  You are standing in front of the bank trying to cash a check or in front of the courthouse waiting to pay a parking ticket, and the whipping flag above you catches your eye. You think, “I wonder why the flag in the center is higher than the others?” or ” How come it is only halfway up the pole?”  But then you have to rush to get in line or write a check to the parking people, both of which always make you angry, and then you forget about the flag entirely.

Well, wonder no more!  Thanks to this great 1965 Boy Scout Handbook, all our flag questions will be answered. And you will learn things about flags that you never even knew you needed to know. Or something.

But first, don’t you love the illustrations on the cover of this book? When I stumbled upon this at our local Salvation Army I was pretty excited.  I could make so many awesome things with this baby.

Anyway, back to the flags.

It’s all about the respect, people.

Did you know you are supposed to hoist the flag after sunrise and lower it down before sunset?? 

NEVER dip the flag in salute to a person or thing…

The flag is never drapery, nothing is ever placed on the flag and it should never touch the ground, the floor, or water under it…

Wow, lots of info, huh?  That must have been some test for a little Boy Scout. 

There, now you learned what a good Boy Scout should know about the flag.  This is the Mid-Century Lesson, people. Learn it!!

Thanks to Jan for this fun movie quote game.  I only got about half, I guess I need to hit the DVDs!

Tis The Season For A Guessing Game!

Take a break from the rush of decorating, gift buying and cookie baking and guess who said what in which show.  Ready?  Now don’t peek at the answers!

1.   “Yeah.  I got invited to the Christmas party by mistake.  Who knew.”

2.   “I want to wash my hands, my face, my hair with snow.”

3.   “I believe…I believe…It’s silly, but I believe”

4.   “You guys give up yet?  Or are you thirsty for more?”

5.   “Remarks like that will not get you invited to Christmas dinner.”

6.   “Good morning; Merry Christmas.  I hope I’m in time to see you flip the flapjacks.”

7.   “You used up all the glue on purpose.”

8.   “Oh dear, did I break wind?”

9.   “Look, Daddy.  Teacher says every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.”

10. “Isn’t there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?”

Give Up?  Here are the answers!

1.   Die Hard/John McClane

2.   White Christmas/Betty Haynes

3.   Miracle On 34th Street/Susan Walker

4.   Home Alone/Kevin McCallister

5.   Lethal Weapon/Roger Murtaugh

6.   Christmas In Connecticut/Alexander Yardley

7.   A Christmas Story/Mr. Parker

8.   National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation/Aunt Bethany

9.   It’s A Wonderful Life/Zuzu Bailey

10.  A Charlie Brown Christmas/Charlie Brown

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!

I hope everyone is having a great turkey day, today.  I am chiling out with my folks, but I couldn’t help but post this awesome recipe I found in a cookbook recently.

I love salads shaped like things!!!  Especially when a turkey salad has no turkey in it!

Have a great Thanksgiving!

Once again, thank you to Jan for a hilarious, inventive and amazing post!  This is the greatest!

 It’s 1959 and I’m taking the girls, Sara, Ruth and Alex on a road trip to California and yes, I know I’m insane, but I did promise them a visit to Disneyland.   Afterward, I’ll need a visit to the Funny Farm.

Anyway, the tank is full, I’ve got the atlas and my nerve pills, so, get into the car, hooligans, sit down and buckle up as we travel down the MCM Menu Highway!

First stop is Walgreen’s Drug Store in Chicago, Illinois.  It’s too late for breakfast, but a sandwich and drink (did I say drink) sound good.

Our next destination is San Diego, California, so you better use the powder room before we leave because I’m NOT stopping again until we get there!

Two hours later, at the speed of sound, we arrive at Aunt Emma’s Pancakes where their menu is shaped like, what else?  A pancake!   Ruthie!  Stop crying!  I can’t help it if they don’t have any Spam!

After downing some of pancakes and paying for damages that occurred when the girls started  a food fight, I’ve pointed (yes, pointed) the car north to Los Angeles.  I hope I can survive the 100 plus miles as Alex has that mischievous look in her eyes, like maybe she’ll insist that we play Peek-A-Boo as she covers my eyes while I’m driving.  Sigh, no wonder I don’t take them anywhere!

At Disneyland, I attempted to bribe the girls to mind by buying them some ice cream at the Carnation Ice Cream shop.

We’ve been asked never to return to Disneyland as the girls thought it would be great fun to stick a vanilla ice cream cone on Mickey’s nose.  Why, why me Lord?

I’m at the end of my rope.   My nerves are frayed, my voice is hoarse from hollering and I think I’m deaf in my right ear from Sara constantly yelling into it, “Mom!  Ruthie’s hitting me!  Mom! Alex just pulled the head off of my doll!  Mom!  Mom!”    Boy, do  I need a drink, but first a stop at the zoo.  I’m certain I can rent an empty cage  for my wild animals.  Ha!  Take that,  devil children!

Aaah!  The Luau in Beverly Hills!  Yeah, I could easily languish under a palm tree and sip several rum infused tropical concoctions until I pass out cold.  Waiter!  One of everything on the menu!

(Hiccup)  Now, where did I put those kids?