No Pattern Required

By RetroRuth

Holy Cow!  The Worst Mid-Century Recipe Contest marches onward, and there are plenty of horrible recipes still to choose from. 

Finalist #3 is a peach of a recipe from Sharon, aka Charm and Poise on Flickr, and the curator of the hilariously horrible group Gee, That Food Looks Terrible.  Though her submitted recipe has blessedly few ingredients (and no gelatin), this baby is still a horror to behold. Sharon writes:

Cheers!

Sharon (Charm and Poise from Flickr)

You people are all sadists!  What is the matter with you??  Look at this thing. Disgusting.  And you expect me to make it, and then cram it down Tom’s throat!?!?  Well, let me tell you something!

It will be my pleasure.

I know what you are thinking. Where are the hard-boiled eggs? Where??

They were still in their little egg cooker.  Not quite done yet!

Hooray! Dog food!

Dog food with an egg on it!

This looks disgusting, but was actually pretty fun to pat into the pan.  The downside: Smelly corned beef hands. Yuck.

Mmmm…canned!

A whole lotta eggs, here.

And then….someone threw up on them.

The cooked crust looked pretty much like the raw one.

Filled with barf.

And, the reveal!!!

Good thing there is that sliced egg garnish.  Really saves it from looking disgusting, let me tell you.

Okay, Sharon. Your suspicion is confirmed.  The “filling” does NOT stay on the crust when served, and the dish is IMPOSSIBLE to serve neatly.

Gak.

The moment you have all been waiting for.

Down the hatch.

“Is it horrible????”

“Nah, not that bad.  The texture in the center is gross, but it doesn’t taste bad at all. Salty, but not bad.”

I took my own bite.  The only thing I could think of was…unecessary.  I mean really. The sliced eggs in the center were ridiculous.  They were slimey when covered with soup and added nothing taste-wise.  Couldn’t there have been green beens, or broccoli or carrots or SOMETHING in the center BESIDES eggs???? Blah.

But other than that, it was edible.  It just looked like barf on raw meat.

The Verdict:  Not bad.  Tom ate it.  If you don’t like cream of mushroom soup, don’t try this.  The eggs were totally stupid, but not gag-inducing.  I feel sorry for the poor bride who tried to serve this to company. Yeck.

But, true to form, Tom ate almost the whole thing. So it wasn’t that bad!

Thanks for the hilarious recipe, Sharon!  Stay tuned for Finalist #4 next week!

By RetroRuth

Ohhhhhh, baby.  Check this out! This week we have excitement, mayhem, craziness and canned salmon! In gelatin! Seriously!

The finalist for this week’s menu is really something else.  I got this horrifying recipe from Adriane L., who wrote:

I’m submitting the most disgusting mid-century recipe I have ever come across…  I LOVE the cook book it came from, which is literally crammed full of disgusting dishes involving gelatin and canned meat.  But this one is by far the worst.  This cookbook dates from the late 50′s and was re-printed in the early 60′s.  I included a scan of the cover.

I hope you find it as disgusting as I do!

Cheers to a fun blog contest!

Best,

Adriane

www.atomiclilly.blogspot.com

Well, Cheers to you too, Adriane.  Also….dang.  And gag.  And some other disgusting reactions. You know, I hate two things quite a bit. Fish and gelatin.  And this dish some how magically brings them both together to be totally disgusting.

And for some reason, those cucumber slices look like eyes.  Does anyone else see that?

The innocent ingredients.

Holy bloomin’ gelatin, Batman!

Does anyone else think this looks like tinkle in a bowl?  Anyone?

“No, no, no, don’t worry. It’s lemon.”

Maaaaybe I shouldn’t have used my gel coloring on this. Whew.

The second round.

See??? Tinkle.

Also, I didn’t have an impressive enormous mold like they do, so we are going to have to settle for a shorter one.

The second layer.  Very….scummy.

Unmolded.  Oh dear God!

The unspeakable cross-section.

Ummm…yum??

Down the hatch!!

“This tastes like a whole lot of nothing.”

I closed my eyes, and took a bite.  For a gut-wrenching moment, I waited for the terrible taste to register. And then I waited another moment. And another moment.  I cracked my eye open, and started to chew. Nothing.  It tasted like nothing, just like the brave man said it would.

Well, not nothing.  I mean, I could taste a canned pea, a bit of salmon, and some green pepper, but they just tasted like themselves. Another cautious bite yielded the same result. Whew!

The Verdict: Surprisingly tasteless.  For all the scary trappings of this thing, it wasn’t bad at all.  I mean, it wasn’t great, but we have totally eaten worse. Disaster averted!

Thanks, Adriane!  I am glad to report that this did not kill us!

Come back next week to see the next finalist in our Worst Recipe Contest.  It is going to be truly a terrible experience!

By RetroRuth

Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Mid-Century Aficionados of All Ages!  Let me present to you the first Finalist for the Worst Mid-Century Menu Contest: Miss Marwood and her horrible Summer Salad Pie!

*Muted cheering. Some gagging*

I know, I know.  I said I wasn’t going to start the contest until August, but I got so excited by all of the horribly awesome entries we received, that Tom and I got right to it and picked the Four Finalists.  And since they were already picked, it was only natural that I would want to make the vile, wicked things as soon as possible.  To get them out of the way. And make Tom eat them.

So, here is the very first one! This disgusting little pie comes courtesy of Kathrin, aka Miss Marwood, who sent along this helpful little intro:

Dear Ruth,

Hope you enjoy

Really, Kathrin? Really??? After sending me this, you still wish for my well-being and happiness?  After looking at this unholy creation, I tend to doubt that!

Off to the oven! 

Meanwhile, the scared veggies prepared to meet the evil filling:

Hmm…not too shabby! And it actually smelled good!

Meanwhile….

Ahh! No, stop!  It’s hideous!

Oh god! Please have mercy!

“Neva!”  *A lemon-tomato evil laugh*

*Sniff* Those poor, little veggies.  Never even had a chance!

It’s tuna-salad time!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Aaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha!

The tomato garnishes, to make it that much better.  You KNOW those are going to miraculously make it taste better. Somehow.

The first, gooey slice. 

Wow, I am actually gagging a little bit while I am typing this.

Tom, The Man With The Iron Stomach.

“So…how awful is it? Really?”

“It’s pretty bizarre.  Not horrible, just really weird.”

I took a bite.  He was right.  It didn’t taste disgusting, but it definitely wasn’t right at all. The cheese crust was actually good, as was the tuna salad, but the gelatin was from a different planet.  If it wouldn’t have been sweet, it wouldn’t have actually been that bad of a dish.  But the sweetness of the jello just sliced through your mouth at the wrong time, making it taste completely inappropriate.  It kind of tasted like tuna salad on a cheese cracker that has been covered with ketchup.  Not nice.

I chewed thoughtfully.  “But I think this is the best tomato gelatin we have made yet.” More chewing. ” And I can’t believe I just said that sentence.”

Tom snorted. “Tell me about it.”

The Verdict:  Unnatural.  The cheese crust and the tuna salad was a great combo.  In fact, I would actually suggest making the crust and putting a tuna or chicken salad in it.  It was good together.  But the gelatin…BLARGH.  Way, way too sweet to be paired with olives. Gross. Gross. Gross.

Thanks, Miss Marwood!  Be sure to come back next week, when we will be featuring Finalist #2 in the Contest!

Oh God.  You know we are going to make something truly terrible when we recieve a mid-century recipe from reader that has fascinated and horrified them for months, but also freaks them out too much for them to make it!  Thanks to reader Miss Marwood, who sent us this amazing submission from the BH&G Cookbook, Pies And Cakes.  This baby was published in 1966, and, if the recipe sent to us by Miss Marwood is any indication, is completely insane. 

Well, maybe not completely insane.  But at least lacking in judgement.

Even those cherries cut into the pie crust on the cover look wrong to me.  I mean…look at them!

But I am just stalling for time here, drawing out the introduction as long as I can before I show you….THIS PICTURE!

Duh…duh…DAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  *Screams* Oh my god its…hideous!! There are…balls in it! Balls!

Ha ha, I love this!  Really?  A standby for summer entertaining??

Well, I am excited! Let’s get started!

Notice the improved pictures??? Tom got a new camera, and so was more than happy to play photographer.  Enjoy the carnage!

*Note, I did use pasteurized egg whites for this recipe because I am ultra-cautious.  I want Tom to suffer, but I don’t want to kill him.

Well, either someone was sick in this bowl, or my gelatin is ready. Yuck!

Check out the “cantaloupe” peeking out from the bowl!  Its just…wrong.

My photographer got a little woozy at this point.  “This smells terrible.”

Slllllllurrrrrp!

Okay, am I crazy, or do you guys see a face in this too? Cantaloupe eyballs, crust mouth.  Yeaaaaahh. That’s creepy.

You know, I think I have seen this somewhere before.  Where was it? Oh yes, I remember now…

Lane’s mystery dessert from Better off Dead.

“It has…raisins in it. You like raisins.”

Try some!  Tom’s thinks you will like it….

The Verdict: Scary, but actually pretty good. The lime and cantaloupe don’t really go together, but the lime pie by itself was pretty tasty. Tom liked it, but not enough to eat several pieces.  I declare this Seafoam Cantaloupe Pie edible, but no way in hell would I serve this to guests!

Thanks, Miss Marwood!!!

It’s Wednesday again, and time for this week’s Mid-Century Menu!  This week Tom and I decided to have  a little fun and dive back into a cookbook that we found absolutely hilarious. 

A victim of the “Western” phase, 101 Ideas for a Quick and Easy Lunch printed by Oscar Mayer has hilarious and ridiculous names for every dish smooshed into its 8 pages. You will all remember the delicious Bologna Papooses from last year, which turned out to be a big hit.  In fact, I think a few readers actually make them on a regular basis! So we were excited to dip back in and try and find something else that would be just as good.

We decided on Sausage and Vegetable Ranch Logs, which sounded a little strange and had a stupid name, which made them perfect.

What the…does anyone out there know what the heck a “Ranch Log” is supposed to be?  The only thing I can think of is that it would look like the wooden logs that make up your ranch house, but that is stretching it. 

Anyway, I forgot to buy the spinach, but I got the shoe string potatoes for our Western Feast.  Ride ‘em, cowboy! Or something!

Yummy. Blocks of meat.

So, the first issue I had was that I don’t have a sausage grinder.  So, I decided to make use of my food processor to get the job done.  Here is the bologna chunks and cabbage getting ready for the big grind.

Adding in the onion.

The chunks of liver sausage are added with the salt, pepper and nutmeg.

Whew doggies!  We have a shapeless mass of goo!

Ok, I didn’t mean to process it to this state.  I meant for it to be in chunks with the liver sausage blending everything together as a binder.  But the liver sausage was very firm and didn’t want to bind to anything except itself.  Sooo….overprocessed. Yeah.

Here are the disgusting little slugs…I mean…LOGS ready for the oven. Yech.

And here is the log fresh from the oven.

Huh. It didn’t say in the recipe that it would turn into one big log.  Maybe it is supposed to be magic, like the fudge sauce in the bottom of Hot Fudge Pudding cake.

The Logs all plated up.  They kind of look like fish fillets…scary fish fillets…

The first bite, down the hatch!

“So, are they good?”

“Uhhh…these aren’t the worst things we’ve eaten. But they are pretty bad.”

I took a bite. Ugh.  He was right.  They had a really weird flavor, probably the mix of cabbage and nutmeg, and it tasted like stinky gym socks.  It was pretty disgusting.

“Give me that mustard,” Tom reached over my plate, “I am hungry and I have to drown out the taste of these things.”

The Verdict: Awful.  I thought the downfall would be the overprocessing of the ingredients, but it turns out that if something tastes like gym socks it doesn’t matter what the texture is. Yuck.

Welcome to the Mid-Century Menu, everyone!  First, I must say that I did not make up the title of the recipe we picked for this week’s menu.  It is an actual name of an actual dish in the Cutco Cookbook, which was published in 1961.  Actually, Cutco is still around today.  My mom just bought a set of their knives about 10 years ago and I have to say that they still work great, even after surviving the huge flood that almost wrecked my parents house. How’s that for quality?

Anyway, this book is great for a lot of reasons.  It has cooking charts for meat, menus, recipes and the most adorable illustrations.  Plus the ridiculous recipe names, which are pretty great as well.

Speaking of the menus, it was pretty easy for me this week because the book already had everything picked out for me.  Here are the menu choices that pair with hot dogs:

I like that there is more than one choice.  There were also three more categories to choose a bread, relish and a dessert, but I figured this will be more than enough food for two people if I just pick from these choices.  I picked grapefruit, mac and cheese and carrots (just regular crinkle cut ones).

To go with this fantastic recipe:

Everyone is excited about the wieners!  Just look at this family!

Even the dog with the stupid bow choking him is excited.  Look at him.

Actually, he looks a little evil. Like he is thinking, “Go on, keep smiling.  Little do you know that while you weren’t looking I tinkled in the 20th Century Wieners.”

Wow.

Anyway, on with the food!

Very few ingredients for this one, which is nice.  The nice big piece of cheddar in the back is from Decatur Dairy in Wisconsin, and is amazing!  It was almost a shame to use it here, but we have so much cheese from our recent trip that it didn’t make any sense to buy more for this.

Everything is chopped up.  I guess that is what you should expect from a knife cookbook!

Layering ingredients:

And finally, that eighth of a teaspoon of basil.  That should be enough seasoning for all those tomatoes and onions. Sure it will!

After 30 minutes of steaming on the stove and melted cheese on top. Doesn’t look too bad.

I would have slung it into a bun, but check out all the liquid at the bottom of the pan!  I should have taken off the lid at some point.

First bite! 

“How is it? Can you taste the basil?’

“Nah, tastes pretty plain.  Like hot dogs with tomatoes over it.”

I took a bite.  He was right, it was kind of plain.  I was actually disappointed, because I expected some sort of hot dog revelation.  At least they were edible.  And it was fun having grapefruit with dinner.

The Verdict: Bland, just tasted like hot dogs with tomatoes and onions.  It would have been better to make a tomato, onion and cheese topping and then put it over a hot dog in a bun.  Maybe next time.

Or not.  Man, what a creepy little dog.

I love the Mid-Century Menu for so many reasons.  Well, not for taste reasons, but there are a lot of other good reasons the Mid-Century Menu is awesome.  One of them is that it gives me an excuse for my ridiculously huge cookbook collection. Another is that it gives me new techniques and recipes to try even if dishes don’t turn out as planned.

The third reason I love it is that Tom and I get to do something really fun together during the week.  We both enjoy planning and making the Menu, which isn’t a traditional hobby, but it is still really fun for us.

So,” Tom said last week as we were paging through cookbooks, “I think we should do gelatin for next week’s Mid-Century Menu.”

“Ohhhkay,” I said, “What do you have in mind?”

“How about this?” He held up the Gel-Cookery Recipe Book, published by Knox in 1955.  I felt a little thrill of disgust go through me.  I don’t like gelatin even when it is fruit flavored, and Jellied Eggs taught me I didn’t like it savory either. 

 ”Do you have a recipe picked out?”

“Yeah,” he said, his voice evil, “this one.”

“Ohhhhhhhhhh no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I really mean it. No.”

“Oh yes,” he nodded his head, “ This is perfect. It has Spam in it. It’s even two layers.” He was really excited.

I sighed.  “Fine. Let’s make the grocery list.”

Poor little ingredients.  They never even had a chance.

Here is the first round of gelatin, all mixed up and ready for the fridge. Now, I don’t use gelatin in cooking at all, so even though I wasn’t looking forward to the end result, it was still an interesting process to go through.  Especially since I couldn’t imagine what the gelatin of this layer was going to taste like.  It had a lot of lemon in it, so was it going to be lemony?  Or taste like Spam? Do I really want to know?

The celery and Spam all diced up and ready to go.  Oh God!

No mayonaise is an island. Except for this one.

I get it now! Mayonaise flavored gelatin! Of course!

Quiet down now, guys.  I can’t think over all your screaming. Especially you, Sara.

No, this isn’t the Twilight Zone.  That is actually mayo flavored gelatin with Spam and celery in it.  And it is ready for the fridge. Shudder.

While the Horror in the Pan solidified in the fridge, I started on the next layer, which was basically tomato gelatin.

With chopped, hard-boiled eggs in it.

Yeah, cause that’s natural. Sure.

The hard-boiled eggs trying not to drown in the chilled tomato gelatin.

And here it is, poured over the Spam layer. And it DOES look a little like barf.

Even though it is vile, I am still proud of this unmolding job.  See!  Only slightly messed up! Still Disgusting Dinner Picture Perfect, though.

In the background is the side dish, Golden Salad, which also unmolded with no problem. Huzzah!

A cross-section, to show off the hard-won layer effect.

“Are you ready for this?”  I was trying to get Tom psyched up. “Are you ready?”

“Okay,” he said, rolling his head on this shoulders.  “I can do this.  I’m ready.”

He took a bite.

And then looked confused.

“Is it horrible?”

“This,” he said slowly, “is the strangest thing I have ever eaten.”

“You say that a lot now,” I said, and I took a bite.  It WAS completely and totally the strangest thing I had ever eaten.  The mayo and Spam layer actually wasn’t that bad.  It just had a really bizarre texture.  The tomato egg layer was even weirder. Everything was really slippery and cold.  It wasn’t a pleasant sensation in your mouth.

About halfway through my slice, I was done.  After awhile, it started to gag me. 

“I don’t think I can do this.”

“This must be diet food.  Because I sure don’t want to eat anymore.”

We came to a standstill about 10 minutes in. I had eaten about two-thirds of my slice, and Tom had eaten two slices and the rest of my slice.

“We did it.”

“Good for us,” Tom was looking around, “Now where is that chocolate pie?”

The Verdict:

Spam and Egg Gelatin:  Weird, but not disgusting. The texture is what really puts you off at the end. The gelatin was too much for me after awhile, and I had to stop. Tom says he will finish the leftovers.

Golden Salad: Surprisingly good. I thought this would be nasty, but it was good and not too sweet. Tom said it tasted like a traditional gelatin salad with fruit.

Brown Derby Black Bottom Pie:  Good.  The texture of the pie is a little strange, but you get over it pretty fast. Tom ate three peices. But don’t try topping it with whipped, sweetened evaporated milk, which is what I tried out of laziness.  It melts really fast.  As you can see, the topping didn’t even make it through dinner.  Use whip cream or Cool Whip.

Ah!  So many choices!  With over 40 Mid-Century Menus to choose from, Tom and I had a tough time deciding what was the best and worst of this year.  We couldn’t really come up with an overall best or an overall worst, so we came up with a couple of categories  in each choice, and sometimes even have individual favorites for each category.  So, I hope you enjoy all of our choices!

Best Dessert

I didn’t make too many desserts this year for the Mid-Century Menu, but the ones I did make were all pretty good.  Tom and I agreed that this category goes hands down to Jim Dandies.

Cherry and chocolate, a winning combination! (Well, for most of us, Barbara!)

 Best Processed Meat Dish

I was surprised when Tom and I had a disagreement on what should be number one here.  Frankly, Tom just doesn’t remember how good the Bologna Papooses were, which is why I think they should be the best.  Spicy mac and cheese inside a fried bologna shell. What’s not to like?

But Tom remembers the Spamcakes being better.  He claims he really can’t remember what the Papooses tasted like, which means they weren’t that memorable to him.  I guess he has a point.

Best Unusual Combination

There are many, many, MANY moments in the Mid-Century Menu when we are making a recipe and are hesitant to add an ingredient because common sense tells you, “This is never going to work.  And I am going to have to choke this crap down for at least two days.” But sometimes we get a miraculous reprieve and crazy combinations actually DO work out well. Thank god. 

Tom’s choice was the totally insane Meatloaf Ring with Creamed Mushrooms, that used a whopping half cup of HORSERADISH mixed in with the meat.  Thankfully, the baking time really took the heat out of the horseradish, and the meatloaf ended up being really good, even if I couldn’t get the creamed mushrooms to stay in the ring.

The dish I thought was the most miraculous was the Hot Fudge Pudding Cake I made with the Bisquick Pizza Boats.  I totally didn’t think it would work, (mystery layer of pudding from nowhere. Right.) and didn’t even bother to take a picture.  It ended up being amazing and Tom and I licked the bowl clean.  I learned my lesson, and took pictures of everything from then on, even if I thought they wouldn’t work.

Best Main Dish 

We couldn’t pick a best main dish that we agreed on.  Surprisingly, a lot of things this year were really good.  But in terms of recipes that we would make again, we each had a different ideas on what was the best main dish.

Tom loved the Squirt Chicken, it was really tasty and he got to use the grill, which he always loves. The citrus soda ended up being a really interesting flavor in the finished chicken, and we both really liked it.

I, on the other hand, was really impressed by the Spaghetti Timbales.  They were fun to make, a little crazy looking and ended up tasting like really good mac and cheese.  A winning combo.

Love it!

Uh, and now for the WORST!

Just as we made some really good stuff, we also made some really, really disgusting food this year.  Really disgusting.

 Worst Side Dish

Since I didn’t make any truly terrible desserts this year, I decided to name the worst side dish that we came up with.  Tom and I didn’t have any problem agreeing on this one.  And let me tell you, Cheezy Beans and Onions was truly terrible.  Besides looking like horror movie material, it tasted unbearably like cigarette butts. 

Worst Unusual Combination

Sometimes the unusual combinations in the Mid-Century Menu go enjoyably right, and some times they go gut-churningly, disgustingly wrong.  Sometimes they go so wrong, that you wonder about the sanity of the people who put the recipes together.  I mean, really wonder.

My choice for the most horrible combination was the Cottage Cheese Pickle Peanut Sandwichthat was created by someone who was obviously insane.  It was disgusting.  It was grilled. It was pickley. 

Tom’s choice was the legendary and truly terrible Tropical Meat Salad, which was created by someone with good intentions to bring the tropics to American Families everywhere and instead guaranteed that on the night it was served for dinner the kids would go to bed hungry.  I know, cause I sure did. Mayo, ham, bananas, mustard and pineapple does terrible, ungodly things when mixed together. And it tastes even worse.

And now…drumroll please…

The Worst Main Dish of 2009

Now this one Tom and I had no trouble agreeing on.  Even though there were some impressing contenders for this title (Tuna Royals and Eggs Oriental), the honor of Worst Main Dish of 2009 goes to Jellied Stuffed Eggs, the worst thing Tom and I have ever eaten.

This dish had it all, disgusting filling, slimey eggs all suspended (if only temporarily) in jellied chicken broth.  It remains to this day the only dish where Tom took his first bite and gagged on it.

*Shudder* Truly disgusting!

Well, that is it!!  Thanks for a great year with the Mid-Century Menu, guys!  It is great to see so many people following a long with our adventures, and we actually love doing it.  Tom has been chomping at the bit to start up again with dinners, so get ready for a whole new year of Mid-Century Menu starting next week!

Happy Wednesday, everyone!  Well, the countdown to Christmas is in full swing and everything around here is about as chaotic as it can get.   I like getting ready for Christmas, which is really good news because otherwise I might go completely insane.  Did I mention that I bought 9 lbs of butter the other day for my Christmas cookie craziness?  Yep. 9 lbs.

Anyway, this week for my Mid-Century Menu Holiday Marathon, I decided to do two different kinds of candy.  And, in true MC Menu fashion, one is a little wacky. The other is just something I have always wanted to try.

The first is Divinity Fudge, which a lot of you out there have probably made before, but I never have.  I always page through cookbooks, see the plates and platters of candy and think, “That would be fun to try.”  And now I have an excuse to try it!

This recipe comes from the book pictured above, the American Woman’s Cookbook. You may remember this book from the noodle ring post, which was a lot of fun. (Cookie Alert – the noodle ring post also has a great recipe for Almond Cookies, a nice addition to the christmas cookie list!) There is a whole candy section in this great book, but the Divinity Fudge looked really good.  So I was off!

Too bad I was totally off my game when it came to prepping these ingredients.  I had to crack a total of 7 eggs to get the two egg whites you see in the red ramekin.  I don’t know what the deal was with the eggs, but the yolks kept wanted to swim around in the whites. Jeez.

The sugar, corn syrup and water in the saucepan.

While that was heating up to light crack stage, which is ironically the level of high I get from making Christmas cookies (just kidding, moms!), I got the rest of the ingredients ready.

The pans all buttered up.

The egg whites, stiffly beaten.

Here is the sugar mixture, right before it hit the right temp.  I am always terrified of this stuff, hot sugar scares the bejesus out of me.  So I was tiptoeing around the pan, trying my darndest not to get an extra drop anywhere.

So you can appreciate how much guts it took for me to pour the hot sugar with one hand while taking a picture of it.  I was sure I was going to spill it everywhere, but it went pretty well.

And yes, my mixer is filthy.   I made a lot of cookie dough yesterday, so that baby has been getting a workout.

Here is the fudge, poured into the pan.  Sorry I didn’t get pictures of the in between parts, but everything got really hot and crazy for a second, and then it was in the pan.  So, here it is in the pan.

And HERE is the totally sticky bowl that I had to wash!  Ewwwww!!

So, flushed with sucess, I decided to move on to the potato candy, which comes from this awesome book, the State of Maine Potato Cook Book.  There isn’t a publishing date on this cookbook (what is with that lately?), but I am assuming this is a 1960′s cookbook by the illustrations.  And I love the kitchen pictured on the front of the book!

Anyway, this book has a bunch of unique potato recipes I am looking forward to tackling in 2010, but I just couldn’t wait to try the recipe for Potato Candy.  It was just too intriging to wait.

Interesting, isn’t it?  I know I am ready to go!

Pretty simple, huh?  The potato is a bit out of place, but everything else looks good.  

The potato and the sugar in the bowl.  I have to admit this was a lot easier than the divinity fudge.

Now, some kind of weird magic happened at this point.  I started up the mixer, and the sugar just looked really dry.  I kept mixing, and still really dry.  About thirty seconds in I was getting a little doubtful.  Then, the sugar started to ball up, like struesel topping, and then it just turned into goo.  In about 2 seconds.

 Look at it!  I didn’t think that would happen.  I totally thought I would have to add more liquid. 

Ahh, the mystery of potatoes.

I mixed in the salt, vanilla and coconut and crammed it into the pan.  Nothing mysterious here.

Then I poured over the chocolate, which I melted in the microwave.  And that was it!  Pretty easy, huh?

So, then came the moment everyone has been waiting for.  Tom came home.

“Here,”  I said, barely even greeting him and shoving divinity in his hand, “try some of this.”

“Ok, but this is really sticky.”

“How is it?”

“Really sticky.”

“But it’s good,” he said, “Bring me the pan and a spoon.”

“Not yet, you have one more to try.” I brought him a piece of the potato candy.  “Eat this.”

“This is so good.  It tastes just like a Mounds bar.  Bring me that pan, too.”

So, he spent the next 20 minutes eating candy and watching Merry Christmas Charlie Brown.  I would call that a sucess!!

The Verdict:

Divinity Fudge:  Very Good, but I must have not boiled the sugar long enough because it never really set up.  Next time I will go a little longer on the sugar. 

Potato Candy:  Really Good, ended up tasting just like a Mounds Bar.  You could sprinkle chopped almonds on top if you want Almond Joy.  The great thing about this recipe was there was no flour or dairy, so it would be a good Christmas treat for people with special diets.  As long as they can have sugar. Lots of sugar.

The only thing I would do differently is NOT put them in a pan if I was giving them as gifts.  I would roll them in balls and then dip them in chocolate. Just to make them fancy.

Hooray for potatoes!

Welcome to another week of the Mid-Century Menu!  Honestly, I am surprised this feature has gone one as long as it has.  I thought for sure that it would become too disgusting for us to continue, but Tom and I have persevered through all the stinky, nasty dishes and even found a few good ones.  One of these days I need to make a Best and Worst list of the Mid-Century Menu.  Sigh.  So many things to do.

In any case, this week’s menu comes out of Betty Crocker’s Bisquick Cook Book, published in 1956.  I love this cookbook, not just because of some of the crazy recipes, but for all the great pictures as well.  I think this is one of the better photographed cookbooks, just for the fact that they take a lot of pictures of the finished dishes.  With most of these older cookbooks you just have to use your imagination when it comes to picturing the end result of the recipe.  And that has put me off more than a few recipes, let me tell you.  I can imagine some pretty horrible stuff.

Of course, the pictures also have drawbacks.

What in God’s name is oozing out of that waffle sandwich on the right?  What?!?!?  It looks like someone on the photo shoot was so nauseated that they threw up on a waffle.

“Awww, someone bring me another waffle, Bill just yaked on this one.”

“Should we clean-up the plate and reset everything?”

“Nah, the cream on the shortcake will run. Just throw it on top of the other one and we’ll pretend its filling.”

 Gah.

Another thing, has anyone else noticed that the picture of Betty Crocker has yellow eyes?  Yellow eyes, I swear to God, yellow eyes!  Just like Scut Farkas.

Anyway, all kidding aside, here is the dish I picked for this week.

Really?  Really?!?!?  On what planet is a hot dog, cheese and ketchup considered pizza???  Even if you used chili sauce, it would be closer to chili than pizza.  Not even the dumbest 1950′s kid would be fooled by this. 

Pizza. Bah.

In any case, I was off!

I got chicken hot dogs because they were less fat.  I didn’t think it would make that much of an impact in whether or not the boats actually tasted like pizza.

Milk, melted butter and Bisquick.

The dough, all stirred together.

Here it is on the floured board after it kneading it 8 times.

Here it is after being rolled out and divided.  I didn’t bother trimming the dough to make it even!

The hot dog halves, all in place. 

And no, it isn’t pizza yet.

Putting the cheese strips in place.  I thought they would be safer under the hot dog than on top of it.

Nope, not pizza yet!

Ketchup on top of the hot dogs.

Still not pizza!

Here they are, all boated up and ready for the oven.  You know, at first I thought this was going to be an easy recipe, but from the last picture until this picture took…me…forever!  They were so fussy!  Oh well, I suppose I shouldn’t complain.  At least they look semi-appetizing, which is a good thing after all that work.

And no, Sara, they aren’t pizza yet.

Here they are, straight from the oven.  They don’t look like pizza, but you never know. I didn’t put pudding or even milk into the dessert and it came out with pudding on the bottom.  I was really confused, and I wondered if Bisquick was some kind of miracle ingredient.

The first bite. 

“So, is it pizza?”

“Nope,”  Tom said, “It’s not pizza, but these things are really good.”

I took a bite.  They were really good. Sickeningly good, actually.

But they didn’t taste like pizza. Nuts. I guess Bisquick isn’t magic after all.

The Verdict:

Pizza Boats:  Good, but not a bit like pizza. The biscuit is very rich and is a little sickening after the second one, but is still pretty tasty.  Would be a good party snack if cut into smaller pieces.

Hot Fudge Pudding Cake:  Really good.  How the mystery layer of pudding came about I have no idea, but it was really good. Tom ate himself sick on it, and didn’t care about the mystery.